Whiskey Lullaby
by Romancelover1321
Summary: When Sakura cheats on Gaara while he is at war with the Sound how will it effect him. Songfic based off Whiskey Lullaby.


When I heard this song I thought it was totally a perfect Sakura and Gaara fanfic. I looked on the search and nobody had this couple with this song. So I decided to do my own.

(Gaara)

I was sitting on the window seal, my head resting on the cool window panels. I was tired, after being in a meeting for several hours. All the counsel did was bicker about raising the stocks so they could get more money. Or how they wanted more shin obi to protect their small village that nobody gave a damn for. Stupid greedy counselors.

So who am I , the one sitting on the window seal with my head resting on the cool glass, complaining about long meetings and stupid greedy counselors. My name is Sabaku no Gaara.

I heard the doorknob turn. I saw that some soft, satin smooth pink locks fell through the crevice. I watched her gracefully slip through the crevice and into the bedroom. I heard the door close gently with a click and that's when I really got a good look at her. Her shoulder length hung on her shoulders. Her skin was paler than normal I could see a sheen of sweat run down her forehead. The black nightgown lightly rested mid thigh and the skinny spaghetti straps slipped of her shoulder. The black night gown had a red flower stitched on the bottom edge and head toward the bodice like area. The night gown made her pale skin have a ivory glow. I looked at her face from her feminine jaw to her full red lips, to her cute button sized nose to her haunting green eyes. The ironic part was we both had green eyes, mine were more of a sea foam green while hers were a emerald green. We both grew up with different lives but here she an angel in love with a monster. Her eyes were filled with love, compassion and no matter how far I searched those green depths I always got lost in them, trying to solve the puzzle that was Sakura Hanuro.

I turned my head, knowing that I was a monster and that I didn't deserve to even look at an angel like her. I heard her gentle footsteps but didn't acknowledge her until I felt the light touch on my shoulder. I could hear the wood creak at the extra weight when she sat behind me. For I was sitting vertical, parallel to the window and seat, while she was facing the bedroom. She laid her head on my shoulder and wound her arms around his waist. I grabbed her wrist, pushing her closer to me. Warmth and comfort was rolling off her like the waves of an ocean.

"Go to bed." I demanded.

I felt her snake her free hand along my bare back and around one of my shaggy red locks.

"It's no use. I was worried about you."

A uncomfortable silence filled the room and I gently listened to her heart beat pressed against my bare back.

"Why" I heard her giggle and I could just see her eyes crinkle and the moonlight enhance her glint in her eye.

"In my dream I was watching you. You were on the ground and the Akastasuki surrounded you. Some were laughing, some remained cold and some were making jokes. They all had these derision smiles on their face. I tried running to you, I watched them stab you, spit and do every vile thing I could think of . I was running to you, and even when I was running I couldn't reach you. The space kept getting longer and longer till you were to far away to save. Then they turned to me." I felt her body shake and one drop fell down my back, sending shivers up and down my spine.

I stood up, I heard her fall back to the wall. She was about to grab my arms when I sat back down an pulled her to my lap.

"I will never leave." I then kissed her on the forehead. She laid her head on my shoulder and that's how we fell asleep.

(One week later)

I watched her put down one of my two suitcases. She looked up at me from putting down the suitcase. How those green eyes would haunt me. I had seen so many emotions through those eyes. Sad when she was crying from when the bastard left her heart broken a second time. Curious when I met her that night when the moon was shining brightly. Happy when I gently kissed her. Now her eyes were clouded with that same sadness that killed me every time I saw it in her eyes.

"Do you really have to go." Her voice was quivering and her voice got quieter and quieter until was a gentle whisper.

"Suna needs there leader during the time of war." Her head bow down, I saw her frame shake and he knew that crystals tears were falling from her haunting eyes. I moved closer to her till I was standing in front of her. I grabbed her chin and forced her head upward. I stroked every tear away with my thumb till they were only tear streaked lines on her porcelain cheeks. I kissed her forehead and then I backed away, picking up both suitcase with my sand.

I knew she knew that was my I love you.

"I love you." She whispered and the wind carried it to my ears. I walked away never turning my head.

(A month later)

(Ino)

I watched her, her knees pressed to her torso, her head laying on her knees. Her eyes were blank dull green, they just stared at _his_ picture on her feet. That's all she did now, just stare. She stopped eating, stopped training, she stopped going on missions, she just stopped doing everything. She just stayed like that all day. She got thin, her bones showing from her skin. Her hair was greasy, her clothes rumpled and surprising she smelled like powder deodorant. I don't even know if she slept at night. The bags under her eyes were a dark violet and it just confirmed my doubts. Even Sasuke didn't affect her this much.

Everyone doubted their relationship from the start. Everyone knew his past and they tried to tear her apart from him by either going out shopping, training or missions, keeping her busy all day that she was to exhausted. She was stubborn and stood her ground.

One day he came over, he was at the gate, we all tried to hold her back but with her monstrous strength she tore through or defense and ran into his arms. The sand reacted wildly, the sand formed a wall and it swallowed her whole. We ran to her defense, expect Naruto who didn't even try to hold her back and supported her all the way with her relationship with Gaara, since he moved on and finally realized he was in love with Hinata. He just stared ahead with a small smile and a sad look in his eyes.

We attacked on all sides but stupid sands spikes interfered so some of the smarter ones waited outside, while the other passionate ones kicked, punched , threw kunai and shurkin. The wall slowly dropped, the only sound the falling sand. There she was, wrapped in his arms, her head on his chest. The pink and red was oddly perfect together. She was smiling, laughing and I heard her merrily chatting with him, he only answered with one word, hn. She giggled every time and it angered me.

How could she let him touch her like that? How could she let him even look at her?

How could he just touch her like that? Hold her as if she was his. He knew about Sasuke. Was he going to bring her hopes up and then let her fall? Then I saw his expression, it was the same cold façade, but he had this finally at peace aura to him. His muscles relaxed under her touch and his breathing gently fanned her ear. He had his eyes closed and on his face was smirk, close to a small smile. I think that's when we all agreed that he was right for her. That they both through pain and we were putting them through more pain on ignoring them.

That's why I intended to keep my promise to him that I wouldn't leave her to suffer when he was gone.

"Sakura, hun, why don't we go out tonight. Just you and me." She didn't move her eyes still bolted to the picture. "You can't stay locked up in your room forever."

That's when I saw how much pain she had been in this past month. I saw her body shake from the sobs that spilled out of her mouth. She gagged at her own breath. But looking at her was the worst. The crystals tears fell down her face. It was like that one time.

It was pouring down, every inch of me was soaked, my close clung to me like a second skin, making it even harder to move. My hair was plastered to my shoulders and my face. I didn't care. I need to find Sakura. I didn't want her chasing after Sasuke. Didn't she get it? He would never love, he could never show her any emotion. He would leave her to die and he wouldn't freaking care! I ran to the only road that led out of the village besides the gate. That's when I found her.

She was standing near the bench, and what I saw frightened me. Her face was lifted towards the sky, the rain drops rain down her face in a quick manner. Her dress was practically embroider into her skin. The rain created a soft light around her. She was haunting beautiful. A beauty I couldn't have.

But her eyes, those eyes. Normally they were a bright green that made children waddle over to her like moths to a light. That made adults smile and everyone trust her. Those eyes brought light to the world. They were always happy, with the exception when she was angry but that's another story. The were a dull green but that's what was not scary. They were empty, no happiness, no joy, no little smiles, no amusement, nothing. They were just empty, like the world and all those emotions were swept from under her feet and she just laid there, waiting for her time to die. Like Sasuke took her soul, her happiness and most of all her heart without knowing. Water clung to her eyelashes making her eyes even more noticeable. All I could do was stare and cry for her. Cry for her pain, cry for the empty hole in her chest and cry for her when she hates herself for loving him.

She had the same eyes. The same look. The same way her hair just laid there. Everything was the same. And it scared the hell out of me.

I walked over to her, making my footsteps louder than need so she knew I was here. She didn't even turn her head to acknowledge me. I kneeled on the bed and heard the moan of the mattress but I ignored it and wrapped my arms around my best friend.

"Sakura, you know he wouldn't want to see you like this. So why are you doing this? He will come back, I don't know when, but he will. You knew this would come. And don't give me that, what if I make a mistake. You won't. Why don't you come out with me tonight with me. It will be fun."

She hiccupped once from the crying and then the room was silent. I was still hugging and holding her in my long arms. When I let go, she grabbed my wrist and turned her head towards me. She studied me for a while before speaking.

"Alright, I'll go. But keep the outfit simple." And for the first time in a long time, her empty eyes got some life back into them. I smiled at her, I knew everything was going to be alright.

(Ivy's bar)

(Sakura)

We walked into the bar, the music was pounding. The smell of alcohol was strong and lights were bouncing off the floors and walls. Bodies were moving up, down and sides ways in a rhythmic motion.

I felt out of place. I haven't been to bar since I started dating Gaara, I didn't need to. Originally I would come all the time to drown out his face our of my mind, thank Kami I was a medical ninja, and healed my pounding head with warm prickling chakra. But every time my head healed his face come back in vivid detail, all the memories we shared, good or bad came back and played over and over till I knew was left on the floor screaming for it to stop, my hands clutching my head through my hair, my scalp bleeding.

I saw male heads turn to me, their lustful gazes made me feel self conscious. I felt even more self conscious when they whispered to their friends and then pointed to me. I told Ino not to dress me up. But no she brought out this little white tube dress that showed to much cleavage and ended at least little below my underwear. I did my best to ignore them, instead choosing to sit in an empty bar stool. The bartender walked over, his pot belly jiggling with every step. He leaned on the counter, his bell jiggling.

"So what would the pretty lady like?" He asked in what he thought a sexy husky voice. I saw Ino sit down by me, she must have seen my worried face because she sent me a reassuring smile. She turned away from me to the bartender, who was now trying to seduce her instead. She could always handle male attention better than me.

"Two white Russians." Ino answered. He nodded his head and turned his back to go pour the drinks.

"Ino." I heard Ino go hum, acknowledging that she heard me, I watched her turned to the guy next to her and they started flirting. I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her so she was facing me.

"Hey! What was that for?" She glared at me and pulled my hand off her shoulder.

"You'll have time later to flirt. Ino I want you promise me you won't let me drink to much." She stared at me and then rolled her eyes. Tonight was going to be a long night.

(Five hours later and 1 bottle of vodka )

I lifted the glass to my lips and threw the contents of the drink into my mouth. It burned my throat and left my body all warm and tingling. My vision blurred and all I could make out was the flashing lights and moving bodies. I felt my skin burning but I ignored it and asked for another glass. Once I went to stand up and my legs felt made out of Jell-O and I landed face first on the floor.

That's when I saw Kiba. He was walking into my direction, and I couldn't help but look at him. He was looking pretty damn good right about now. With his muscular chest showing through his black t-shirt, his wild hair spiked. Even the red tattooed spikes under his eyes made him attractive.

I twisted my lips into a seductive smile and I waved my hand. He seemed to forget about what he was doing before and made his way over to me, his muscles flexing every time he walked. He sat down beside me, and when Ino saw him, she ordered him a beer and then turned to her new fan boy.

The bartender but the drink in front of Ino, and Kiba reached over me to grab the drink. The bartender gave up his miserable flirting acts and decided to just get us drinks instead. His had accidentally brushed his hand against my breast but he didn't seem to notice. Once he grabbed the beer, he brought it to him and gulped it down in one swallow.

(A couple beers and 3 more glasses of Vodka and an hour later)

I pressed myself closer to Kiba. I could feel the heat radiating off his skin. I smelled his cologne, it had this wild smell to it, it fit him. His hair was silky smooth against my finger tips. I slid my hands from his hair, down his cheek, to his jaw, and down to his neck where I tightened my arms around. Then I pressed myself even closer. I felt his hands run down the sides of my torso, making my mod tingling in blinding passion. It twisted and turned, burning my senses till all I could remember the touch was Kiba's smooth skin, smell the intoxicating cologne, the taste of the sweet candy on his lips, hear his delicious moaning. I pressed my lips harder to his and that's when I felt his tongue, lick my bottom lip. His tongue moistened my lip. I could taste the sweet candy on my lip. I wanted more. I opened my mouth for him, his sweet taste blocking my one of my senses. I felt him press me to the closet wall, leaning his body even closer to me, if possible. I felt his hands slither from my hips, to my torso, the side of my breasts, to the edge of the tube top.

(Leaf Village Gates)

(Midnight)

I walked past the gates and headed to Sakura's house. The roads were empty, dust swirled around me, the moon lighting the path, the only sound was my footsteps and the shifting sand in my gourd.

I walked up the stairs of the apartment complex building, they creaked but I ignored it and made my way down the hall to her door. It was a navy blue with 32 nailed in. Somehow the place felt empty, no warmth, love, that sweet home feel.

There I waited for her to turn on a light. Then she would push back one of the curtains, to make sure of who it was. She was open the door, run to me and wrap my her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I would nuzzle my head into her neck and I would hear her softly saw, welcome home love.

But that didn't happen. Instead the light stayed off, she didn't come to check if I was there, she didn't wrap her legs around me or speak those sweet words. It was just silent. Dead silent. Normally I wouldn't mind the silence but this was off.

I knew something was wrong. I opened the door, it creaked eerily, the slight breeze pushed it back to the wall. She never left her door unlocked. Being a ninja made her aware so she locked and closed all doors and windows.

The room was pitch black dark and freezing cold. Usually she turned the heater on and the room toasted up nicely so it wasn't unbearable like Sand. I could see the silhouettes of the couch and the love seat. I knew something was wrong.

I forced myself to walk through the rooms and not to run. She may be overworking at the hospital and fell asleep on her desk. I made it to her bedroom and I flipped the switch and the light came on. Her closet was rummaged through, clothes thrown on the floor. In her closet some clothes were half hanging on the hanger some on the closet floor covering the very few shoes she had. Her dresser drawers were all open. On the bed was my picture, with tears staining the glass.

Ignoring the picture, knowing she was suffering worse than she did when Sasuke left, I looked at the night stand and there was a piece of paper.

_Dear whoever who reads this,_

_Ino-pig had forced, yes I said forced, to go to Ivy's Bar. Now please come and save me! _

_Love Sakura_

At the end of the note was a different handwriting.

_P.s. NO she was not FORCED! AND I'M NOT A PIG, FOREHEAD GIRL! _

Already assuming that was it was Ino's handwriting I disappeared in a flurry of sand to Ivy's bar.

(Ivy's bar)

I slammed the bar door open, and it created a loud thump and the door knob lodge itself into the wall. I ignored the bartenders complainants and shouts and looked around for the stupid blond woman.

She was dancing with some random man, grinding. I quickly snaked my way through the crowd, getting more complaints but they shut up after I glared at them. I grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and pulled her to face me.

"Hey man, wait your turn." The random man yelled, I just glared at him and he backed off, like a scared cat. I saw him walking around, careful of me. He was probably went to find another plasted woman. Ino tried to yell hey but got cut off by a hiccup.

"Where is she?" Ino must not have been to dense, she shakily rose a finger to a door in the back of the room.

I made my way through the crowd again, not caring if I stepped on a few toes and not caring about the increase in complaints. I got to the door and violently opened it in rage, the door again planted itself in the wall. I ignored the loud complaint of bartender who was smart and gave up on yelling at me. Instead he grumbled and went back to serving his drinks. That's when I saw my nightmare.

Sakura was leaning into Kiba, her white tube top dress was hitched up. She was kissing him, like her life depended on it. She stroked his chest, neck, played with his wild brown hair.

I knew the day would come where my angel would leave me. She looked heavenly in that dress. As she kissed him I knew that she wouldn't love me forever but it still didn't stop the way my hurt teared and every beat was painful. One side of my mouth quirked up, that was the closet I could get to a smile and I disappeared. I needed to be alone to sort this out.

_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette_

(A year later)

(Sand Village)

(Gaara)

I walked down the barren road. It was dead quiet, only the moonlight showing me the way, the sand and dust swirling angrily around me. The only sounds that could be heard was my foot steps and the swishing of the sand in my gourd. It reminded me so much of _that night_.

I turned to the right, going through the ally. The ally was dark, the moon never reached between the buildings. A gang saw me, after the last fight I had with them, they moved aside and I walked straight for 400 yards. Then I turned left and there was the only bar in Sand.

It was run down, floor boards were broken, cracked and crooked, some were slightly lower than others. They were a dull gray. The few stairs the had were either in tack, half way hanging on or goners. The brown colored paint, once bright, now was a faded and chipped. The floors creaked eerily and loudly so that it rang in your ears and anyone could hear the noise at least a mile away. The owner never complained about thieves, not that he would though, since their sake, beer and other beverages weren't the best.

I walked into the bar, it didn't have a door, it fell of its hinges and the owner didn't bother to replace it. I walked to the bar and sat on one of the barren seats. The bartender spotted me and went to grab three bottles of beer. He set them on the in front of me and left to get his other customer in the back. Their was no music, nobody was in the building but us. I took the first beer and gulped it down.

_She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forgetWe watched him drink his pain away a little at a timeBut he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mindUntil the night_

(Midnight )

I staggered to the door, my body visible rippling, my eye sight slowly dimming to a black blur. My legs felt heavy, I felt my own body crash on my legs and I thought my legs were going to break like sticks. I ignoring the effects of the damn drinks, and somehow I made it past the alley, to the barren sand road to our family house. The walk was only a mile walk, that was like a quick exercise for genin ninja, thus making it easier for a ninja of higher rank but the effects of the alcohol made my body felt so tired that I had to lean against the wall, to stead my self. Bile came slithering up my throat, leaving its nasty taste and had to breath a couple times to hold down the urge to puke. I fumbled with the key, it kept missing with the keyhole, when it finally went in properly and I opened the tan door. I slowly and as carefully, as someone as drunk as me could, wobbled up the stairs to my bedroom. I had to stop a couple times to regain my breath.

My bedroom was plain. The walls were painted black, like the night sky. Sakura painted on the ceiling, above my bed, an ivory moon. The bed was bathed in red silk sheets. The pillows were an ivory. It reminded me of the gentle rays of the moon, how the would sparkle when they touched her skin. How her eyes shined when the water overlapped her feet, how her dress would move with the breeze. It reminded me of how her hair swayed in the wind, how the rain drops clung to her eyelashes making her eyes even more innocent. How when the sun hit her, she looked like an angel, a beautiful angel.

The only other furniture in the room was a dresser and a night stand, both made of the hard tan hardened sand. The night stand was by the bed had a small desk lamp on it. The only other item on the night stand was a notebook. Sakura would wake up after me, I was on the roof watching the moon set and the sun was rise. The first day she slept over she brought a notebook of her, and she wrote I love you. I remember how she would write in the mornings where she was, what she was doing, and how much she loved me.

My memories of her were fading. That's what always happened when I got drunk. Everything would remind me of her, the memories would come back in vivid detail, then it would all fade away like a dream. Her image in my head ever so slowly fogging. I only got drunk to make her image go away, to make it disappear. I didn't want to remember that shoulder length pink, oddly cut pink hair. I didn't want to remember those doe like emerald green eyes. I didn't want to remember the smooth touch of her pale skin or the taste of candy when I kissed her lips. Sake, beer, any alcohol made me forget her, it made the image foggy. Though my one wish to make the image disappear never happened. It would get so foggy that I could only see the dull pink of her hair, and the smothering spring leaf eyes but never disappear. When I was drunk I felt like I was floating on a cloud. That I was alone, the judging world was gone and all the pains, losses and problems that came with it. It made me forget how she ruthlessly tore my heart of my chest. My heart was still lying in her hand but at least sake made me forget that terrifying fact, if only for a second.

The only good thing was the house was empty. It was dead silent. I could even hear the dripping of the excess water drop from the faucet. When Kankuro was there, he never stopped his infernal shouting. I heard crash after crash and then all together I stopped caring about what broke. And Temari never stopped yelling back at him. Those two would bicker for _days_ about who gets to go on what mission or other stupid topics. Before the sand demon was extracted out of me, it knew how to shut the two up. Only problem now is, they know I won't kill them, I became nicer after dieing, so when I glared at they ignored it and continued to bicker.

Things changed though. Temari got married to Shikamaru, and she was now living and now, thank Kami, annoying him. Kankuro though was out with some prostitute, getting laid. I stayed still on the doorframe, studying my room, thinking about my past, my room, my two annoying siblings.

I was tired and wanting to go to sleep I took a step forward. My body wobbled dangerously but I continued. Halfway to my bed my feet numbed and finally decided to fail me. I fell to the floor, my knees took the fall. My upper body bounced off the side of the bed, then my head lolled on the bed, my hair blending with the blood red sheets. Pain shoot from my calves, ankles, thighs, my knee joints. My chest throbbed and all I could do was stay like this, breathing slowly, trying not to wince at the pain in my chest.

I reached my arm to the front side of the night stand. I dragged it up the two drawers and to the edge of nightstand. I reached my hand farther and caught the spine of the notebook. I dragged the notebook to me, the notebook hit the lamp, which shattered on my arm. The pain shot like electric current every time a little piece of glass embedded itself into my skin. I ignored the pain, let the lamp drop to a thump on the ground, and put the notebook on the bed. I opened the first drawer of the night stand, with my injured arm, I ignored the drops of blood spilling in the drawer and grabbed what felt and what I assumed would be a pen. I pulled it out of the drawer, closed it shut, and looked at the now bloody item in my hand.

It was dripping with blood but it was a pen. It was a black pen with tiny red drops on it. My pen from her, how ironic.

I held the pen in writing position, and then set it on the paper. I scribbled a few words on it. The blood littered the paper in tiny drops but you could still see the writing.

I reached into the pouch and pulled out a grey kunai. I brought it in front of me and traced the edge of the blade. My blood trickled down the edge of the blade, the red bright against the grey.

_Drip_, went a drop of blood on the paper.

I always tried to make myself bleed when I was younger, now I'm older and I couldn't bear to think about it. I kept myself alive for my siblings, the people of my village but the main reason was _her_. Now that my siblings are gone all the time, I see my village wants me to use them for their own greed needs and she left me for a dog boy, what is there to live for.

_Drip_, went another drop of blood on the paper.

_Splash_, the blood was soaked with my blood but the words remained untouched. I plunged the kunai in my heart, there was no pain, I just felt the pounding in my chest and a tingling numbness. Her image slowly faded, till it was just a blank darkness. Her image finally disappeared.

The warm liquid, flowed down my bloody shirt, staining my skin and clothes. I dropped my grip from the kunai, my hand fell on my side, hanging like a dead limb. My heart beat's rhythm slowly got slower till it was a slow hum. My eyelids felt heavy, I blinked, every time I blinked it got harder and harder to keep them open and till my eyes wouldn't even want to open and I kept them shut. I sucked in air and then a small breath escaped my lips.

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the triggerAnd finally drank away her memoryLife is short but this time it was biggerThan the strength he had to get up off his knees_

(1 hour later)

(Kankuro)

I walked in with a beautiful girl on my arm. She was playing with the edge of my shirt and I grabbed her ass. She just giggle and went to the edge of my pants. Before it could get any better we made it to my house, and I had to open the door. I turned the doorknob, and swung the door open. I walked in with her, my arm around her waist.

We got into the living room. The living room was painted a pear white, the only furniture was a table, two couches and two love seats. I removed my arm from her smooth exposed waist.

"I'll be back babe. Do you want some red wine?"

"Yes. But be back soon, I'll get _lonely_." She pressed her chest against mine. I smiled at her seductive tone. I brought my lips to her ear and bite, sucked and licked her earlobe.

"I'll be back real soon babe." Then I walked into the kitchen.

(Girl)

Yes! I heard rumors from other workers that he paid 50 bucks and we got the best free red wine. I sat on the couch and waited for Money Boy to hurry up with my alcohol. When he didn't come back 10 minutes later my patience was at a all time low. So I got up, wandered the room.

The walls were a pearl white that seemed to sparkle against the chandeliers little lights. There were no paintings on the wall. The only furniture in the room was the black leather couches. Deciding that this room was boring I found a set of stairs and decided to explore them.

At the stop of the stair well their was a hallway. I heard a gentle, drip, drip, drip of the water and saw a door ajar, and was pitch black. Assuming that was the bathroom I made my way to the bathroom to turn off the sink. I may be a prostitute but at least but at least I'm not a stupid slob.

I made my way to the white door and gently pushed it with my hand. It creaked and opened at the gentle touch, the room as dark as night. I felt around the wall and when I felt a switch I turned around.

All I could see was blood. Leaning on the bed, on his knees with his head on the bed was the figure where the blood lay around. I couldn't believe. I knew who it was the moment I saw red hair it was the Kazakage.

_We found him with his face down in the pillow_

Before I could shove it down my throat and run, I scream, and loudly that anybody in the house would have their ear drums shaking.

I heard rushed steps come up the stairs and I knew Kankuro heard.

(Kankuro)

I heard a blood curdling scream that made my ear drums ring. It was almost as bad as Pinky's and Temari's. Then I realized that it was the woman's and I dropped my beer. It crashed loudly and the liquid soaked my sandals. I ignored the soaking of my feet and ran up the stairs.

I hated it when they were curious. Gaara scared one girl shitless that she didn't come back.

"Shut the hell up!" I yelled while running up the stairs, my feet made loud plops on the black carpet.

I made it to the top of the stair well and there she was standing. Her body was violently shaking her tears ell down her perfectly sculpted face. She silently muttered no, no, no, no, no.

Shit he already tried to kill her.

"Get out of the way." I ran to her and pushed her out of the way. I went to negotiate with Gaara when I saw it.

Blood was everywhere, his body lay limply by the bed. His knees were on the very edge of the bed, his torso leaning on the side and his head laying by something. Before I could see what it was I turned to the woman.

"Look here here's 50 bucks. I want you to get out of here, go where ever you go and don't come back here and don't you dare say a word of this. Got me?" She nodded her head in agreement. I brought her close and kissed her forehead and in a loving way. "Now go." She ran down the stairs in flurry, and then the door slammed close.

I slowly walked to Gaara's body. I knew something like this was going to happen. Damn it. I should have paid more attention to him. If I had seen he was hurt I would have tried to help him. What kind of brother am I?

I was by his body, I ignored all the blood and tried not to look at it and grabbed what he was clutching the side in one hand. I had to move his fingers, they were freezing cold and it increased my guilt.

It was a notebook. I moved to the next page, I'll read what he wrote later, right now the counsel need to know their Kazakage was dead. I grabbed a pen that was still in Gaara's hand and quickly scribbled down the message.

I put my fingers in my mouth and whistled loudly. I heard the ruffle of feathers and less than a few seconds a hawk came flying in. The hawk flew on top of my raised arm and stared down at Gaara. I had to look away, for the guilt would just be worse.

I knew the hawk got the message for it grabbed the note out of my open hand on the arm he was perching on and flew away in a color of brown.

I turned back to the bloody sheet. In bright words were words that would be the match to the a fire pit with gasoline on it for gossip.

_I love her till I die_

And I had a pretty good idea who the her was.

(1 week later)

(Sakura)

We all surrounded the willow tree in a circle. I watched as they dropped the casket into the newly dug grave. It seemed time slowed to the lowest where each second seemed like an hour. Every inch the grave went farther down, it just made me realize how much this was my fault.

If I didn't agree to go to the bar, then I wouldn't had drown myself in sake. I wouldn't have made out with Kiba and Gaara and I would be at my house, lying in each other, letting the wonderful silence take over me.

But no matter how much I agreed it was my fault, the guilt never stopped haunting me. It made me think of all times we been through, how I had to teach him the ways of society. How he touched me, kissed me, grunted that cute little hn. I wouldn't be able to have those times anymore. The rest of my heart that we built up together, glued and made it stronger, just broke into tiny pieces, and no one could fix me. That's when the first tear fell down my eyes. Then the second one. Then the third one and so on. They just fell and I knew they wouldn't stop anytime soon.

When the coffin was all the way in the ground everyone left expect for Shikamaru, Temari and me.

Temari sauntered towards me till she was standing in front of me, her hands on her hips, her eyes glaring holes into mine.

"Did you hear the rumor of the note?" I nodded my head, the words I thought of escaped my mouth with my previous breath and I knew whatever I said she would never forgive me.

"It's all your fault that he died. If you didn't act like a slut then he would be alive." She walked away but her words cut me and added to the guilt. I watched as Shikamaru wrap an arm around Temari's waist. He whispered something into her ear, gave me an apologetic look and they walked away till I was the only one left.

My knees gave out under me and I fell on the grass, my black skirt spread out like a black satin cloth. I traced his name on the grave.

"I'm sorry, Gaara" Even his name was hard to speak out loud for the guilt reminded me I killed him. "For everything." The rain poured down on me and I knew the heavens were also crying for our loss.

_And when we buried him beneath the willowThe angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

(An year later)

(Ivy's bar)

I took the tiny glass and threw it in my mouth. My throat was so used to me drinking so much alcohol that my throat tingled by numbness. That's all I have been, numb. I felt like the walking dead. I did missions, I stayed healthy, I tried very hard to get sleep but when he was haunting my dreams it was kinda hard. I at least paid my rent, work and ate. I tried killing myself but after the first time my friends watched me like a hawk.

Why didn't they just let me die? I have nothing to live for. The one boy I had a crush on, which slowly turned to love broke my heart. The second man I loved, died and brought my heart with him. I freaking MURDERED him! MURDERED! I'm a MONSTER! Monsters need to be killed anyway. That's the fact of life and always would be.

I tightened my grip on the glass, it broke into pieces in my hands. I opened my hand let the glass drop onto the table.

The bartender picked up the broken pieces. He went into the back storage, how I hated that room, and pulled out a first aid kit.

He pulled out all the glass, washed the wound with a rag and then banged my hand with bandages.

I felt Ino worried glances.

"Ino stop your stupid worrying. Hey I'll pay for the broken shot glass." The bartender didn't argue he just went to other customers to serve for them.

When the bartender was done throwing away the excess trash from the first aid kit and the empty bottles the bartender got me another tequila.

"Don't break this one too." We both chuckled and he returned to his other customers.

"Sakura its late and I'm going to leave. I don't want you to drink too much okay." I ignored her and waved my hand.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. Now shoo." She sighed and then left the busy bar. I gulped down the drink.

(A couple hours later)

I walked out of the bar. My vision was gray, my legs were wobbly but I ignored it. I learned to stop eating before drinking so I didn't puke. This was just usual. I go to Ivy's bar, I start drinking, Ino comes to check on me. She says its getting late and she's leaving and don't drink too much. Nothing changed.

I climbed the hill, forcing my heavy limbs to go up. There were few people, and I could see they were worried for me. I glared at them, they backed off.

With a few stumbling and falling on face forward, I made it to my home. I threw the door open, not even bothering to turn on the lights. I never turned the lights on for a whole year. What was the point? The sun lit it in the morning. I'm never here for the afternoons. In the evenings I just come from the bar and then make my way to my bed, gaining a few more bruises. Nothing changed. Nothing ever did.

I made my way to the bed, gaining a new bruise on my knee from the sofa and a bruise on my right arm from the wall. I kicked away the dirty clothes and found my rumpled bed. I fell on it and breathed.

His image didn't fade. The image of him never faded. Even when I was drunk. I thought I could forget him but my stupid guilt wouldn't let me. How am I supposed to move on when this stupid guilt keeps making me believe that I will murder another man. Having Temari yell at me once was bad enough. Twice would be even worse.

_The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herselfFor years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breathShe finally drank her pain away a little at a timeBut she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mindUntil the night_

Then I saw it. It was the picture I never thought I would see again. The picture was of Gaara, smiling a true small smile. I caught it at the right moment before it could escape. He was mad at me for that, but he quickly forgave me. He gave me the sweetest kiss that day.

Luckily when I was drunk that was the only memory I could think of. If I thought of any others I would have gone crazy. I always wanted to know. When your heart is broken, when your at the bottom of the deepest pit you ever thought of and when someone saves you from it, helps you climb the wall, take the chance and have the whole world and the he dies because of you, and you back in that pit, how do you move on? How do you re climb that wall and take back the world? How? Unfortunately, I haven't figured out the answer to that.

I turned the picture to the back. I moved the little hinge so the cardboard was free. Then I took out the picture and put the cardboard back in and put the hinge back on. I tightened the hold of the picture till it was a little ball in my uninjured hand.

I made my injured hand take a kunai out of my pouch on my waist. I didn't look at it while I plunged it in my heart I just did.

I heard a sickening crunch, pain evolved my body, pulsing with my heart, every limb hurt in pain. My throat was tickled by the warm, thick liquid and my body coughed to get rid of the liquid. The smell of blood revolted me but I stared at the picture in my hand. It only had one spot of blood. I let go of the kunai, closed my eyes and listened. My heart beat was a soft hum that put me in a trance that I didn't even notice it was getting harder to breath. The pain reduced and I clutched the picture tighter.

I watched a his disappeared in the blank darkness. I finally got rid of his image, the guilt was gone. For the first time I smiled and let myself be swallowed by the inky darkness.

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the triggerAnd finally drank away his memoryLife is short but this time it was biggerThan the strength she had to get up off her knees_

(7:00 am)

(Naruto)

I pounded on the door. It was always my ritual to check if Sakura was alive in the morning. I would pound on the door for a minute or two, then Sakura would open the door looking like hell. This time she didn't answer the door. I have been pounding on the door for at least 20 minutes and no one answered. Thank God Kami Sakura's neighbors under stood the serious nature of the situation or I would have been kicked out by now.

Getting worried I lifted my leg up and in one kick the door was flying into the back wall of the hallway. It was a good thing that I had a good excuse or Sakura would have killed me.

"NARUTO! Why the HELL did you do that? Do you know how pissed she going to be?" Ino shrieked but I ignored her. Something was wrong here. Very wrong.

I ran past the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom and into the bedroom.

There she was. She was lying on her side, her hair all spread out. Her blood was soaked into her clothes and the sheets. One of her hands was wrapped up in white bandages, under the kunai that she stabbed herself. The other was in fist.

"I can't believe you did that you dope! What did you do that for? Are you listening to me! Do you know how-Oh my!" She paused when she saw Sakura. I saw the tears fall from her eyes and she buried her face in her hands.

I walked over to her hand in the fist. I gently pried her fingers lose, I ignored the cold tips. I pulled out a paper in her hands but I was wrong. It was his picture. She died with him that night.

"She's left us."

_We found her with her face down in the pillowClinging to his picture for dear life_

(A week later)

Again I found myself and the rest of her rookie 8 group, and the sand siblings surrounded by the willow tree.

Ino, Tenten, and Hinata were all silently crying. Ino was crying on Shikamaru shoulder, Temari was jealous but she didn't show it. Tenten was leaning on Neji, and Hinata was leaning on me. All the men were looking down at the lovers or something else but not the newly covered grave.

The worst look of them all was Kakashi. I guess this was anther add on to his morn list.

Everyone had paid there respects in some way and slowly left till it was only me and Hinata. I climbed the willow tree and sat above the two graves. Instead of looking at the graves I looked at the sky.

Your finally home, Sakura.

"N-n-Naruto." I looked down and Hinata was leaning on the side of the tree staring at me. I climbed a few branches, so I didn't land on the graves and jumped down. I took her in my arms.

I have to angels a pink hair exotic one and a sweet lavender one. I held her close to me. She buried her nose into my shoulder. If I lost her I don't know what I would do with myself. I just didn't know.

"Why did she do it? Were we not enough for her?" Hinata whispered into my shoulder, a new patch of tears in her eyes.

"We could only make sure she didn't stay broken. We couldn't love her like she wanted us too. Suicide may be a sin but what Gaara and she did was what they both needed to do or they would have gotten worse and worse until they were a ghost of what they used to be. That would have been sadder to watch than attending their funeral."

_We laid her next to him beneath the willowWhile the angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

So what do you people think. I personally loved it but I believe Naruto was a little OOC. Review.


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